Agathocles - This is Not a Threat, It's a Promise (REVIEW)

If you don't know this legendary/phenomenally prolific grind band then I would request you to kindly get the fuck out of here. Go. Now. What you still doing here? Leave! Yeah, that is better. Move on. Hey I can still see your shoe. Out, out! Sorry, I am getting tired of coming up with different ways to introduce this band to our readers.
This is not a Threat, it's a Promise is the latest (at the exact time of writing this review i.e. Sunday, 11:37am IST) full album by Agathocles. I was going to compare this album of theirs to a full length album I reviewed about a year back but I find out that they released another full length album in between. What the fuck man! How am I supposed to keep up? These guys are releasing albums faster than I can type their names! It is a good thing that the Agathocles disc is currently spinning because it is pretty darn effective in pacifying me. Their raw, crusty, catchy and of course noisy cathartic grind music brings almost instant relief. It is far from the most original thing I have heard but at such times I don't want to spend time familiarizing myself with angry music. I want something which is like a best friend to me – one that I can relate too and at the same time doesn't demand too much from you. You fucking want to vent out your frustrations along with it, bang your head off to it, and basically have a jolly good time. You know?
This is not just another one of those ultra generic interchangeable grind albums though. It is as solid if not more in comparison to Grind is Protest, which was a very solid album in the first place and was almost like a comeback of sorts (two Agathocles years = a decade for most other grind bands). This is not a Threat, it's a Promise not only retains the form and heaviness of Grind In Protest, but throws in some tasteful, slower and catchier moments which help immensely to break the monotony. “Peoples Property” for instance has this nice relaxed old school part with a sweet lead going on. Even the one following it opens with a lovely foot-tapping bass intro and has those crust leads reminiscent ofDisgust. Then there are also a few innovative songs such as “God Save the Real Green Crocodile” which has this highly charming Jamaican-sounding tune with clean singing. I danced to it in a makeshift tutu. And of course tore it violently in the next back-to-the-grind song. “Motherfucker (Swing that Axe)” and “Aside” are a slower songs with very compelling rocking tunes. While I am citing a few instances of when they try to do things a little differently, never forget the sheer power and blistering intensity of Agathocles.
Is this an essential album, you ask? Well, the answer depends on how many Agathocles albums you have in your collection. Bearing in mind that it is mandatory for any self-confessed grind fan to have at least one, this album is sure a very good one to start with. Even the by now poor Agathocles fans should buy it, for it is among their strongest albums in recent years and offers enough goodies to satiate any grind fan. This is not a threat, it's a promise.